waters of the quarry road~

i was imagining my death tonight, by attack of a mountain lion. i prefer to walk at sundown or before sunrise. i'm not far enough away from civilization. but i go out, here and there, not too far away, in the dark. i'm more at home in the wild dark than on the road home. when i walk i breathe and see and feel life. i'm not confined in a metal machine as it rattles me up the incline home. in the wild is where i come alive, this is where i remember who i am and why i'm here. i can't do that at work, and only partially at home, because i'm too disconnected from my core to remember. when i'm working i'm grateful, and i do my best. however, it is not life for me, that's when i'm a "human doing". i spoke of this expression with michael the other day, that we become humans doing, we get caught up in the activities and forget that we are designed to be human beings. we hustle about taking care of life, and we become fully fragmented from the essence of our complete and magnificent being.

this is where i begin again, to feel and know my soul, my body, i reconnect. i consciously decide not to resent the life that's been civilized around me, but to remember to go and be, to see and breathe, to feel the air, inhale the sky, consume the water, the colors reflected, the starlight, the planet greetings, the cloudwhisps of fog floating in the darkness across the waters to shore, to honor the rock king to where i've hiked before, to imprint in my mind the faint view i have of the dim lit clouds kissing the breasts of the sisters... feeling my energy increase, my breath deep, smelling the sage and the soil, mist and ocean current, life and air and planet dust. it all becomes a part of me, as it is, as i remember where i came from.